I know I'm in my own world... it's okay, they know me here

Had a great day at the Merlin Meet in London yesterday, as ever, and today thought maybe I ought to actually give out links to some of the fics I mentioned to people instead of just dangling them in front of people and taunting them :D


From a World More Full of Weeping by azarsuerte. Turns out I have two fics a bit like this - Susan Pevensie meets The Doctor. Summary: Two people meet who have nothing in common…except a world of loss.

Threads That Are Golden Don't Break Easily by Lady Paperclip. Summary: Susan meets Captain Harkness at various points in her life.


Off My Lawn! by Barrowjane. Kirk and Spock being grumpy old men! Extract: "Jim, I do not see the point of this," Spock said, turning the cane Jim had given him over in his hands. "Neither you or I require assistance in walking."


Intreat Me Not To Leave Thee by C.M. Decarnin. A long, beautiful D/s fic, sadly unfinished, but worth reading anyway - the endpoint is still somewhat satisfying, so not a total cliffhanger. Summary: Kirk gets an ultimatum.

A quick roundup:

Another week has gone by and I still haven't been fired!

I made an offer on a flat, which was rejected, then upped my offer slightly which has been accepted, so hopefully I will be moving into a place of my own very soon :)

Having only mobile broadband blows.

Not a lot to talk about, really - trying to make myself write, but failing somewhat at the moment. Hopefully will give myself a kick up the backside this week and really get going. I suspect the problem is because I wrote myself into a boring bit that didn't want to go anywhere, and I'm just reluctant to go back and cut. Fail, self, epic fail.

On the other hand, assuming I manage to get Paintshop Pro onto my new laptop to finish up the graphics for it I should be uploading a Kirk/Spock fanmix I've been working on this week, so watch this space :)

I'm the first to admit that I'm not very plugged in to the discussions side of fandom. I'm a lurker by nature and always have been - I came for the fic, and stayed. So when big wanks blow up, I'm usually the last to know, and have to dig around to find out what's been going on.

I like to understand what people are arguing about, and to hear both sides, then make up my own mind about where I fall and what I want to do about it. I did this with the whole Racefail '09 fiasco - read what people said, considered it, and decided to integrate it into my own personal behaviour so that I could be a better person. Not that I'm saying I was particularly racist before - but I grew up in an almost exclusively white area, am middle class and white, and have very little experience of non-white issues. I try to be fair to everyone and treat everyone the same. I want to be the kind of person who does good things for everyone around her, not bad things - I want to leave the world better off when I die, not screw it up more. This includes upsetting people.

So why, when it upsets abuse victims and can trigger horrible mental backlashes, do people talk about warning for triggery topics in fic as though it's a terrible imposition? I'm sorry, I just don't get it. It reads to me as though you're telling the abuse victims it's their own fault, so they should STFU and get out of fandom if they're going to be so whiny about it.

Um, no. That's not how MY fandom works. In fact, that's not how MY LIFE works. I would have thought it wouldn't be the way you wanted your life to work, either.

So. Here is my personal policy on warnings. I'm only just creeping back into writing fanfic again after several years, and who knows - I may end up backing off again into the dark and re-lurking. But I'm not willing to not touch on this issue.

I will always warn for rape/non-con, dubcon, child OR ADULT abuse (sexual/emotional/physical), character death or kinks that may be triggery such as BDSM.

To the best of my ability, the fics I link to on my delicious, which I consider to be a recs page, will always carry warning tags for these issues. If I slip up and forget one, I apologise, and a request for me to tag a fic correctly will always be listened to.

If, like me, you had no background information to this at all, I started here, at queenofhell's journal, and branched out. This post by impertinence is a candid and straightforward explanation of what triggers are and how they work. Warning: Very explicit discussion of sexual assault and the nature, anatomy, cause & effect of triggers. Is itself triggery.

...somehow, despite the fact that in general I super-despise mpreg, I am writing one anyway. Why, kink meme, why?

My other fic - less embarrassing in many ways - is still ongoing and I'm actually pretty pleased with it. The fact that I'm writing again at all, actually, I'm really pleased about. Clearly the kink meme has given me back my mojo.

One exam down, four to go *le sigh*

It was pretty good, all things considering, but my stomach decided to have a stress attack as soon as I sat down so I felt pretty nasty all through it. Better now that I've had a sit down, eaten some choccy biccies and read some fanfic. To which I must say:

OMG GO READ THIS NOW. It's an SGA fic by copperbadge called The Difference Engine, in which John has a robotic brain and Rodney put it there.

Heck, even if you're not into this fandom, this is a work of genius. Go read it anyway.

BTW, it totally made me want to watch Ghost in the Shell again, which you should watch, too, if you haven't seen it :)

Having fallen head-first into Die Hard fandom (well, who wouldn't after watching the fourth film? It's the only one I've seen, but I now have all four on DVD and will be watching them this week), I'm almost already through every McClane/Farrell fic easily findable, goddammit.

However! A tidbit of good news, once I got off my ass and hit Google to appease my curiosity and hope: it seems they will likely be doing Die Hard 5 after all, and with Justin Long still in it!

(Obviously, if you're interested, if you go check out my del.icio.us which is linked on my lj page, there are now plenty of fic recs there and waiting. 'm just sayin'.)

Totally. Awesome. More McClane/Farrell moments, please!

Even if you're not an SGA fan, you should go read this. It's beautiful, moving, and I cannot pimp it enough.

Male Enchancement (The Soul and the Company Store Remix)

First things first...

45,339 / 100,000 (45.3%)

Whee! Only 4,661 words until I can buy myself another book about writing! (I have a lot of fun reading them, even though I write without referencing them. I feel motivated afterwards and like I might have learned something, and I love to discuss writing, so this is almost as good as that!) And also, of course I then lend them to blondeyetti, so it's like a cycle of goodness ^-^

(If anyone ever feels like discussing writing, by the way, OHMIGOD PICK ME, PICK ME! because I really, really enjoy it. My project, your project, writing in general...)

Bulletpoints, because I haven't used them in a while!

Anyway, real life stuff! We've been given LOADS of work this week, and I was going to go to the anime club's fangirl sleepover on Saturday, but I don't think I can justify the time to myself TT-TT I really have loads I have to get done, which is sad. (The sleepover is from, like, two o'clock on Saturday afternoon, so it really would eat up too much time, unfortunately.) I have loads of Self-Directed Learning due.

Today I downloaded some free novel-planning software off the net, and I have to say that I really like it. I'm not going to use it to actually write my novel, but it's useful to look at structure and things - like tracking where each character is, where scenes are, whether there's enough tension all the way through or if there are low patches, that sort of thing. I plugged in everything I've done so far, anyway, and I'm half in love with it. If anyone's interested, you can find it here, it's called ywriter.

I'm getting all wound up more easily at the moment, which I think is probably because of a few different things - more work, plus going to talk to the phD student about Mum stirred that up, and one of my friends' Dad died. (I'd say who it was, but she hasn't said that I could, so.) Plus the Postal Strike is still on here, with no end in sight, and I'm getting PISSED OFF. I ordered my copy of the new Temeraire book from the States so that I could read it as soon as possible, goddammit!

But basically all my issues are closer to the surface at the moment, so for instance I'm finding it hard to convince myself (again) that the reason I've not met anyone yet, like, ever, is not because there is something fundamentally wrong with me, it's just a case of timing. Sometimes I'm just very aware of being twenty years old and never had a boyfriend, you know? I want somebody to be close to, who will say nice things to me even though he'll tease me like hell too, etc etc. And so on and so forth.

I need ten more fics that I love enough to rec on my del.icio.us, because then I will have exactly 1000 fics linked on there, in loads of different fandoms. Can anybody rec me anything to read? Please?

Okay, that's it for now :D

I hate how, sometimes, you love a book or a fanfic or a movie so much, but you can never ever read it or watch it for the first time again. You can never experience that again.

I love this fic so much. But it doesn't work the same when you read it again. And that makes me really sad. Because it is so. Beautiful. And you don't have to be a fan of The Sentinel to read this, really, just read it because it's perfect. Seriously. This is one of my top recs for the history of ever.

An Empty Sky by mz_bstone.

Even if you never read anything I rec ever again.