I was born with glitter on my face, babyclothes made of leather and lace

[tahariel]

Thank you to everyone who replied to my post last week, and sorry it took so long for me to respond. It was a really horrible day in the long, ongoing saga that is my work situation - too long to go into in detail here and now, though I think many of you know about it already. We'll have to see what happens, as ever, but things are not as bad this week. I'm feeling better, anyway.

Though today I found out at the gym that I have lost a stone and a half since this January, and let's just say my gym visits haven't exactly been religious, so I know where that's all gone. Stress as a slimming aid?


On a happier note, I've started writing again! Or at least, I've written about 350 words two days in a row now, which is better than the nada it's been up until now! In celebration of this, a wordcounter and a rec for you all! I'm sorry I haven't been doing the recs up until now, btw, but things at work... well. You know.

7504 / 25000
(30.02%)

This Mortal Armour

My old word counter from Zokutou seems to be all gone - poop! I loved that wordcounter! - but this is an acceptable substitute :) A lot of this is from previous work, though, so only the last six hundred or so words are fresh.


And the rec:

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What if Bella realised the power she has over Edward, and used it? This vision of Twilight, even if you hate the original, is mouth-wateringly dark, with Bella portrayed as a sociopath who knows exactly how best to use a vampire who is utterly devoted to her. Turns the original on its head without changing the premise, a task that sounds much easier than it is. Absolutely perfect.


The peaceable kingdom By orange_crushed. Summary: "Say it," he tells her. He is so goddamn arrogant. He orders her words to come out in front of him like he'd order a coffee. If, you know. He drank. "Say it."


Tags: twilight, edward/bella, het, fic, au, dark, a:orange-crushed

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Comments

[tellezara.livejournal.com]

I'm totally going the broken record line here, but I really do think a change of location will do you wonders. Before you jack it in, it might be worth applying for some temp posts somewhere that are not MK - far enough away that the people you work with can't deliver any gossip beyond your work reference. You've really got nothing to lose if you're gonna jack it in anyway. Kettering's got a job going just now that is on its second readvertisement so nobody's applied for it:

http://www.jobs.nhs.uk/cgi-bin/vacdetails.cgi?selection=912488493

I honestly do think they've got it in for you there - you've tried so hard to make things work and if they're still on at you this relentlessly then either you're in the wrong job or in the wrong place of work - and I am 99.9% convinced it's the latter. *hugs*

[tahariel.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the support honey, I appreciate it. The two major problems I have with moving is a) I would get a shitty reference and b) I've bought property here, and don't really want to move if I can help it. If I think I can, I'll try for other jobs, but I'm in a bit of a tight corner.

[tellezara.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I figured that the flat would be a bind to MK for you - that's why the Kettering one might be useful as it's a bit more commutable than some of the other ones out there. Shitty reference is an issue too, although really, if they're gonna give you a shit reference then they really are dicks from start to finish because they're effectively destroying your entire chosen career. That's pretty damn awful. Part of me does wonder if they're being so horrid to you to try and encourage you to apply elsewhere without actually sacking you - more of a 'them not accepting you' than 'you actually being shit' thing? In which case they would give you a passable reference. Either way, you've probably got nothing to lose by applying, especially if you impress at interview. But this is your life, hon - whatever you decide, put yourself first!

[aliiyn.livejournal.com]

Hey lovely,

I am so so sorry to hear that your job is still sucking. Are there any private clinics in MK that you could look at moving to? Your colleagues sound like complete idiots and if they can't recognise that you are busting your ass to do your best for them and (more importantly) your patients, fuck them.

Have you got my home number/skype addy? If you want to chat at any time just give me a buzz. I've got exams for the next couple of weeks so am currently trapped in Oxford but I will be free from the 11th July if you want to meet up/watch cm/go shopping/have a supernatural marathon....basically anything to make you feel better :)

Sending you lots and lots of hugs. You are fabulous and don't you forget it.
xxxx

[tahariel.livejournal.com]

They recognise - at least to my face - that I'm improving all the time, but have serious concerns about my clinical reasoning, which if I'm honest are fair with the points they raise with me, though how they expect me to think rationally all the time when under so much stress and pressure I don't understand.

I don't have any phone number for you at all as you were to send me your new mobile! I don't currently have Skype but I can get it :) Also, I'd love to meet up, but it'll have to be August as I'm in the States for most of July (yay!) A TV marathon sounds awesome!

[aliiyn.livejournal.com]

Hmmm, that is very sucky. Of course you are not going to shine and demonstrate just how competent you are when you are nervous and second guessing everything that they may say.

I know the Solicitors Regulation Authority has a helpline for stressed lawyers who want someone to talk to/advice on building confidence etc (it is one of the few things they actually do for the profession that is of any use!). Is there anything like that in your hospital/for opthamologists generally that you could call upon? Wonder if talking to someone completely outside of the situation might help or give you some strategies to keep calm and carry on when the bastards grind you down. From a legal pov, I would also suggest seeing a doctor. If you do find yourself unfairly dismissed and want to bring an action any proof that your work harrassed you/caused you health problems (which they obviously are if you are losing that much weight through stress) could be very useful. Bottom line, they should be taking better care of our Tahariel!

On another note, sorry about the phone. Completely forgot about it; I simply never use mobiles so forget that anyone else might want to contact me! I think I'm mentally preparing to when I will have to be surgically attached to a blackberry :( I will text you home phone and new mobile no asap. Also, august sounds awesome- I will start sorting out rotas with a view to blocking off some time for catch up :)