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Jul. 30th, 2005 08:46 pmI can hear my soul
Throbbing in my mouth
Don't kiss me or you'll take it
And I can feel myself
Enshrouded in your love
Don't kiss me or I'll take it
Some random Amy-lyrics for nothing and no particular reason ^-^
Hey, Hollie, I'm not looking for crit on that section, just posting it because!
BTW, here's the (short) opening section. I'd like to know generally if people like it, but not a sentence-by-sentence, word-by-word deconstruction, please.
Gifted
I like to drive at night, when all the colours of the world are faded into greys and blacks, a muted landscape with nobody in it but me. I did it a lot back when I first joined the police force – I’d wake up in the silence of three a.m., pull on whatever clothes were to hand, grab my motorcycle helmet and just drive through downtown Brunston to the seafront. My bike was – still is – a Sabin Nighthawk, all sleek lines and a purring engine, a lot like the racing bikes back in the Noughties. It’s funny how forty years can pass and then suddenly a style can be back in vogue.
So I’d roar down mainstreet to the sea – there’s no real beach to speak of in Brunston, just rocks and a current that would drag you right down to the seabed before you could take a final breath. Then I’d sit down on one of the white public benches to watch the rising sun burnish the world in a soft glow that made even the city beautiful for the one instant before everything snapped back to its normal tarnish. I’d sit for a little while longer, listen to the dawn chorus maybe before the birds were drowned out by the escalating traffic noise, until eventually it was time to go home to get ready for work.
I’m not so restless now as I used to be. Steadier in myself, maybe. I was an unsettled twenty-seven year-old. But even at twenty-four, Elliott was always more stable than me.
I’m getting ahead of myself now. Let’s go back to the beginning, yeah?
Throbbing in my mouth
Don't kiss me or you'll take it
And I can feel myself
Enshrouded in your love
Don't kiss me or I'll take it
Some random Amy-lyrics for nothing and no particular reason ^-^
Hey, Hollie, I'm not looking for crit on that section, just posting it because!
BTW, here's the (short) opening section. I'd like to know generally if people like it, but not a sentence-by-sentence, word-by-word deconstruction, please.
Gifted
I like to drive at night, when all the colours of the world are faded into greys and blacks, a muted landscape with nobody in it but me. I did it a lot back when I first joined the police force – I’d wake up in the silence of three a.m., pull on whatever clothes were to hand, grab my motorcycle helmet and just drive through downtown Brunston to the seafront. My bike was – still is – a Sabin Nighthawk, all sleek lines and a purring engine, a lot like the racing bikes back in the Noughties. It’s funny how forty years can pass and then suddenly a style can be back in vogue.
So I’d roar down mainstreet to the sea – there’s no real beach to speak of in Brunston, just rocks and a current that would drag you right down to the seabed before you could take a final breath. Then I’d sit down on one of the white public benches to watch the rising sun burnish the world in a soft glow that made even the city beautiful for the one instant before everything snapped back to its normal tarnish. I’d sit for a little while longer, listen to the dawn chorus maybe before the birds were drowned out by the escalating traffic noise, until eventually it was time to go home to get ready for work.
I’m not so restless now as I used to be. Steadier in myself, maybe. I was an unsettled twenty-seven year-old. But even at twenty-four, Elliott was always more stable than me.
I’m getting ahead of myself now. Let’s go back to the beginning, yeah?
