I know I'm in my own world... it's okay, they know me here

Okay, so had a hissy fit last night over Hand of Glory but decided what I was going to do, and also the whys and wherefores of my problem.

I think that when I've been writing first person my characters end up being very angry because I think I am very angry underneath everything. Angry and frustrated. And all of that winds up expelling itself through my characters because I don't vent it myself. Now, this would be fine, except that then we end up with the CLONES!!! problem, which is bad.

So I've decided to make the story gentler, in the hope that it will calm things down. In the original plot there's a series of nasty murders that bring the two main characters together; I've decided that I don't want nasty things like that to be the only thing I can do, so hence Plot 2. (The Hand itself has been cut out entirely.) Toby's sister was married to John's brother, but they didn't know each other. Their siblings were killed in a car crash, and when Toby (our first person character) goes to their house to try and start sorting out their stuff, he finds John already there. So we start off at the house and then move it back to London, where it turns out they don't live all that far apart. And everything leads on from there. I'm thinking of giving it the working title, at least, of The Mourning Tree, because I suck at titles when there isn't something good for me to work off and I thought it sounded okay. This also means me starting over, but there you go, sometimes you have to. So there we have it, girls and boy.

Went to see my new psychologist lady today for the first time. She's very nice, so I think I'll go back. She says that my problem is that I try to rationalise my emotions and put them away when I don't want to deal with them or think they're wrong or pointless, which obviously you can't do with feelings, which is where I get stuck. Stuff like not telling people when I feel hurt by things they do or say, that kind of thing, because I'm worried about making trouble by saying things. I keep everything very much to myself, and it's not good for me, so I'm going to try to be better about that. I think you're all fab, so don't think it's because I don't like you all, I just find it hard, that's all, what with people being people. Which may or may not make sense to you, depending on your own life and experiences.

So today I actually talked to Mark (the guy I like at work) and wasn't too much of a doofus. Though I was one time. But now my brain has got itself into this 'talking to him loads all of sudden is weird, isn't it?!' thing which blows. Argh, stupid brain!

But I did talk to him! I gave him a mint crumble as an opener because I'm just that smooth (it was all pre-planned, I'm so obsessively weird)