(no subject)

So, I went and had my brain scanned in the giant noisy machine and it turns out I /do/ have one, despite reports to the contrary.

The electromagnetic waves stimulated the nerves under my skin and made them twitch so I was really fretting I was moving. Apparently it doesn't happen to most people. But it was really weird - like having a nervous tic all of a sudden, all over my head.

Basically, it was fine. I get to wait a little while then we'll get the results, which at my age should be clean of anything at all worrisome. Then, in five years, I get to do it all again ^-^;;

(no subject)

You know, I feel weird tonight. Dissociated again. Maybe it's the reality of having had my head scanned and thinking about having it done every five years for the rest of my life, or simply that I've been reading some weird stuff, but... *shrugs* I don't know. Maybe I need to get away from reality for a while.

God knows I've suddenly realised I'm not working again, and not by design but maybe because of apathy? Now that I've finished DLS, I'm not terribly motivated to write any more. And, not that it's Kat's fault because I love to get honest opinions, but now I'm wondering if Hidden Thoughts is working, maybe because it's not been a smooth operation from the start. I'm going to post it up maybe tomorrow night, what I've done so far, as long as I get around to it. The comment is that it's not as internal as DLS, though I'm not sure if that's good or bad. I'd like opinions.

I'm more enamoured with the comic project, to be honest, right now, which is me having written a story I started writing into a much shorter, one-off script format and Susan is hopefully going to draw it as a comic, though that depends on outside factors etc, so for all I know it may never happen. It's one of those times I really wish I could draw, because my drawing stinks (laugh.) At least the kind of drawings I want to be able to do.

It's one of those things, really. Loads of people want to be able to write and can't, and I can (I don't care tonight if that's immodest) but want to be able to draw, too. It's kind of... selfish, maybe? Ungrateful? I don't know.

Maybe it's just my desire to escape into a controllable fantasy world rising up again to blot out the stress I'm feeling because of approaching exams. It's not as though I'm still in the deep depression about Mum, right, but I'm not right either. I'm still off-balance. I think I will be for a while, which isn't surprising but is surprisingly annoying when I have to try and concentrate on these exams. Not that I feel that grieving isn't important, but that I feel that for now exams have to take precedence and me not being crazed might help. (Maybe crazed is too strong a word.) Snarled up inside, then. I need everyone to get out of the goddamn house and leave me alone to cry in private because I outright refuse to when they can hear. I hate being interrupted when I cry - I'd much prefer to be left alone to get it out of my system than have someone come in and do the whole 'hush, it's okay' thing. I hate that thing. It's stupid, at least for me. Which maybe is rude to the people who are trying to help, but...

This is becoming a ramble. I'll go now, before I reveal all my deepest darkest secrets. I leave you on this note:

(Why Amy loves The Invisible Man)
Hobbes: Ernie and Bert are so gay. They've been living together for what, thirty years? Time to come out of the closet, my friend.
Fawkes: You watch Sesame Street?
Hobbes: Yeah, it's the only decent thing on tv at six am.

Who else would get away with that?