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Feb. 26th, 2008 09:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
taharielYou may not have noticed, but I am a very competitive person.
"The hell you say!" ...you say. (Ha ha, no, really, I know that you know. Do you know that I know that you know that I know? Well, you do now.)
Myv wanted to move back into the flat she lived in next year - it has better views, is in a quiet block, etc. I didn't - don't - really care, because all that means is that I will have to move all my stuff again, but, whatever.
Of course, as soon as I found out other people were after the same flat, we were going to win, goddammit, come hell or high water! I got really fired up and adrenaline-shaky (we got it, too.)
And don't even get me started on eBay. I get an adrenaline hit just out of fighting people out of the thing we both want at the last second. For instance, just won a lovely dress :D
It really is silly, but I suppose it's the small pleasures that make life worth living, hmm?
But...
Today I printed out my manuscript so far. Size 11 font, 1 1/2 line spaced, right and left justified, came to 167 pages. And I started to read it, thinking, 'let's see where this is at, get motivated again.'
But... I can't help noticing everything that's wrong with it. I'm sure it improves as I wrote it, getting into practice and improving and things, but I can't feel anything for it. The emotions I should be feeling just aren't there. And it makes me worry whether or not it's actually good or not. People tell me it is, but how can I tell when I'm so blank about it?
Argh! This is just what I was talking about yesterday. It makes me so frustrated!
"The hell you say!" ...you say. (Ha ha, no, really, I know that you know. Do you know that I know that you know that I know? Well, you do now.)
Myv wanted to move back into the flat she lived in next year - it has better views, is in a quiet block, etc. I didn't - don't - really care, because all that means is that I will have to move all my stuff again, but, whatever.
Of course, as soon as I found out other people were after the same flat, we were going to win, goddammit, come hell or high water! I got really fired up and adrenaline-shaky (we got it, too.)
And don't even get me started on eBay. I get an adrenaline hit just out of fighting people out of the thing we both want at the last second. For instance, just won a lovely dress :D
It really is silly, but I suppose it's the small pleasures that make life worth living, hmm?
But...
Today I printed out my manuscript so far. Size 11 font, 1 1/2 line spaced, right and left justified, came to 167 pages. And I started to read it, thinking, 'let's see where this is at, get motivated again.'
But... I can't help noticing everything that's wrong with it. I'm sure it improves as I wrote it, getting into practice and improving and things, but I can't feel anything for it. The emotions I should be feeling just aren't there. And it makes me worry whether or not it's actually good or not. People tell me it is, but how can I tell when I'm so blank about it?
Argh! This is just what I was talking about yesterday. It makes me so frustrated!
