Meme

I saw this meme on alexia75's journal and thought it actually sounded quite good. so I thought I'd try it.

List ten things you want to say to people but you know you never will.
-Don't say who they are, use people only once.
-Tag at least 3 other people who you want to do this. <-- this part I'm ignoring, so do it if you want to.

I ended up doing twelve. By accident. I'd like to say that I cried when writing some of these, by which I mean that they're close to my heart.

I want to tell you things about me, the things that are really hard to tell anybody, but every time I ever have you've brushed me aside and ignored them, not even on purpose but so uncaringly that you don't even notice what I've given you. So I don't tell you those things any more.

I never feel like you care about me. I feel like I could die without you noticing I was gone.

Sometimes I feel like you're the only people I trust to keep me sane.

I know you didn't do it on purpose. I know you didn't want to. But I wish you hadn't.

You have no idea how much your easily-given kindness means to me.

I feel like I'm always on a razor's edge with you - you've got so much going on inside yourself that I have to pretend that I'm fine and keep it from you when I'm sad, because it's the only thing I can do for you.

It's time to grow up and realise that not everything is about you. I love you but I can't stand to be anywhere near you. You put me on the defensive as soon as I hear your voice. And I hate the way you treat my sister, like an easy target for your self-absorbed venom.

You listen to what I have to say, but I never feel like you try to do anything about it. You mean well.

Sometimes I feel that you're wonderful. Then you say or do something that proves how little you understand people and I feel wounded.

I don't believe you when you say you've changed.

You have so much going for you and yet you destroy it all on a whim, fluctuating from one mood to the next so randomly that I'm never sure if you mean half of it.

You were young, yes, but that was no excuse for the way you treated me.