Went to see my friend Dan's one-man show of Hedwig and the Angry Inch tonight, and as expected it was totally amazing. Dan is super talented so it was great to actually see him perform.
Unfortunately I volunteered for a mini contest during the show, not knowing that the first round was to be a 'who can drink a pint fastest' competition. As most of you know, I don't drink at all and never have. However, not wanting to spoil Dan's show by balking, and being really, really competitive, I downed about 7/8ths of a pint in under 30 seconds and only lost to the other guy because I had to stop to breathe.
This is really horrible. Why do people do this on purpose? My knees got all wobbly immediately and I'm all hot and flushy like I get when I'm ill and it's just really horrible. I feel like there's something disgusting inside me and then I had to drink a pint of water my friend Sally gave me and now I have too much liquid inside me and I'm all sloshy. I drove myself home fine (I'm mentally fine and my legs are better than they were at first) and I'm okay but this is just really horrible and I definitely don't want to do this again. Why do you like this, drinking people?! Bleurgh. I've eaten a bowl of cereal and drank the milk and I'm going to bed now. If I wake up with a hangover I will be seriously unimpressed.
On the plus side, my friends promised not to tell Dan how rubbish I feel, so at least I helped him feel confident on stage and made the show go well for that little part.
(Yes, I'm a lightweight, as I always suspected. But in my defence I never drink alcohol and downed that pint in under 30 seconds. And I nearly won, dammit. If I hadn't had to stop to breathe I would have won. And I really wish I had won, even though this is horrible, because I really, really like to win. Yes this is dumb. No I don't care.)
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